An Open Letter to Mr. Alphonse Capone

Paris, Jan. 22, 1931

My dear Al,

I was so pleased to hear that you have at last silenced the “e” at the end of your name, which used to hang there as an everlasting reminder that you are an early American. From now on, as I understand it, you are Mr. Capone, pronounced like Malone in Dudley Field Malone.

It is a good idea. You have silenced so many things in Chicago.

It reminds me of a story I am sure you will appreciate, Al. It seems that there is a famous London racketeer called Bottomley, who was once informed by a highly trained English butler that the old name of Cholmondely should be pronounced Chumley.

“Then,” replied Bottomley, “my name is Bumley.”

Now here in Paris, there are so many people whose names are always being twisted by uncultured tongues. For instance, how would you pronounce Broglie? I know you don't care particularly, Al. But suppose there was an associate gang over here, Al, and you wanted to mention De Broglie in your prayers....

Well, anyway, Broglie is pronounced Breuil, like "erl" in "banana oil," as the Hon. Daisy Fellowes would be glad to tell you.

And I suppose, Al, that when you gave out that interview to Mrs. McCormick (pronounced Mc Cormick) you didn’t think she would go and let everyone in on the secret of your nomenclature. (Or maybe it was Mrs. Patterson who interviewed you.)

And another thing, Al, I remember back in our own United States (yours and mine, of course, Al) long, long before you had taught the Young Idea how to shoot, that the name of the prominent actress Mabel Taliaferro was pronounced Nell. (Mr. Alexander Woollcott will, I am sure, hear me out in this).

However, you can depend on me, Al, to see that from now on, all our mutual friends (yours and mine, Al) will p r o n o u n c e your last name to rhyme with tone and not with baloney, you old aristocrat!

You know me, Al! My name’s not pronounced mud. It’s always pronounced

ERSKINE

             GWYNNE.